One bright day a fellow comes aboard the Idle Djinni. He’s not the first half-orc that’s been aboard, but he is the first one that you’ve seen sporting Desna’s symbol. When you learn he’s a cleric of her church, that raises an eye. Conley comes up from below deck to welcome him.
“Oy! Lads, we’ve a guest aboard. This here’s Zelkerut. He’ll be joining us for this run to Galt. Welcome ’im lads. Now get back to it!” With a nod and a grin to Zelkerut he adds, “Nothing more cleansing than a good days work, my friend. Vally! Put ’im to work!” And with another nod he climbs back to the quarterdeck. Vally comes up and says “How’re you at rigging?” as he leads Zelkerut to main mast.
A few nights out the crew was up top, under an open night sky. Snake was playing a tune on the accordian and Stump was dancing a jig. After a time one of the mates, Jingo, called out “Vally! What about that time in Tymon!”
At this the young man called Thorn says “By the Light, aren’t we done with that yet!”
Vally hops up and says “Not quite Master Thorn. Seems your admirers want more!” Vally rubs his hand together and warms to his crowd…“It was a lovely night, full of promise! We were at the Elusive Camel and having some of the Black, singing songs and wooing women. It was a grand time and when Thorn finished off his fifth pint…”
“I thought it was his fourth!” yelled Legs.
“Quiet Legs, I’m telling a story.”, grinned Vally.
“So he finished his fifth pint and he was still standing. But more than that, he hops up on a table and he starts singing to this lass what was serving us all night…Stump what was her name?”
“Right! So Thorn is singing ‘Brandy, you’re a fine wench, what a good wife ye would be…’”
“And that’s when they threw you out?” one of the other mates offered.
“No, indeed not. So Thorn here’s keeps on belting out this song…”
Thorn feebly says “Vally, please…”, and Vally, with a grin, says “Quiet Thorn, I’m telling a story.”
Vally continues, “So Thorn belts out this song and the lass is all smiles and giggles and the song is so catchy that Snake here jumps up on the table and starts singing along with him. That’s when the table broke.” Vally pauses for effect. “And THAT’S when we got thrown out of the Camel.”
“And then whens you went back to the ship!” yelled Jingo.
“Oh no sir.”, Vally replied “That’s when we went to the Rose and Whistle.”
“The Rose and Whistle!?!?” The group replied together.
“Now, I know what you’re thinking. But ever since that place got sold there’s almost no assassins hanging round there!”
“Ye gods,” says Thorn but Vally, with a bigger grin, says “Quiet Thorn, I’m telling a story.”
“So we walk in and Thorn here walks straight up to this half-orc fella sitting at the bar (pardon me father), and he was seven foot if he was an inch , and Thorn says, ‘Hey! You’re sitting in my seat!’”
On cue, the group let out a collective gasp.
“Then here’s the funny part.”, Vally continued, “So this half-orc fella stares down at Thorn and smiles. At least I think it was a smile, he had these tusks. Anyway, he smiles and MOVES DOWN A SEAT. Well, we all start breathing again and belly up to the bar and end up drinking with him the rest of the night. Then we came back to the ship.”
At this this crew begins to whoop and holler. Vally slaps Thorn on the back and pulls him up as the jig starts again.